" Very pretty,
indeed; but not the sort of witticism which a dry man would be likely to
appreciate--and Californians are sometimes extremely dry!
* * * * *
POLITICAL ECONOMY.
Employing female clerks in the Treasury Department because they will
work for small wages.
* * * * *
A SIMPLE INQUIRY.
May not a pretty actress, when playing a page part, appropriately be
called a "belle boy"?
* * * * *
NINETY-NINE IN THE SHADE.
A. MIDSUMMER ODE.
Oh for a lodge in a garden of cucumbers!
Oh for an iceberg or two at control!
Oh for a vale which at midday the dew cumbers!
Oh for a pleasure-trip up to the Pole!
Oh for a little one-story thermometer,
With nothing but Zeros all ranged in a row!
Oh for a big, double-barrelled hygrometer,
To measure this moisture that rolls from my brow!
Oh that this cold world were twenty times colder!
(That's irony red hot it seemeth to me.)
Oh for a turn of its dreaded cold shoulder!
Oh what a comfort an ague would be!
Oh for a grotto to typify heaven,
Scooped in the rock under cataract vast!
Oh for a winter of discontent even!
Oh for wet blankets judiciously cast!
Oh for a soda-fount spouting up boldly
From every hot lamp-post against the hot sky!
Oh for proud maiden to look on me coldly,
Freezing my soul with a glance of her eye!
Then oh for a draught from a cup of "cold pizen!"
And oh for a resting-place in the cold grave!
With a bath in the Styx, where the thick shadow lies on
And deepens the chill of its dark-running wave!
* * * * *
BOW-WOW!
One may discern a new argument for the removal of the National Capital
to St.
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