On reading this, with what strength I had left I secured a dictionary,
and found that "nostalgia" means homesickness;--a disease not known to
Washingtonian exiles--but what "ossification of the pericardium" means I
cannot discover. Not only have I searched every dictionary in the
Congressional Library, but I have pervaded all the bookstores, and made
myself a nuisance to every medical man of my acquaintance--in vain!
Nobody ever heard of such a disease, if disease it be. It may be
something more dreadful! And not only I, but those whom I have
persecuted with my inquiries, are on the verge of insanity; and for all
this the _Chronicle_ is responsible.
Now, this can't be endured; and I have come to you for help. Either tell
us what is the meaning of this terrible phrase, or else open your
batteries on the malicious genius who pens those _Chronicle_ papers,
and--squelch him!
As yet,
"I am _not_ mad--but soon shall be!"
if you don't answer.
Yours, in tribulation,
ALONZO TARBOX.
P. S.--Be sure and see that the printer spells my name rightly, and
don't transmogrify it into "TREEBOX," as a beast of a Treasury Clerk did
the other day. "There _are_ chords--" you know.
A.
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