"For instance--at Fredericksburgh," observes MONTGOMERY.
"I was thinking of Fort Donelson," returns EDWIN.
The conservative BUMSTEAD strives anxiously to allay the irritation of
his young guests by prodding first one and then the other with his
umbrella; and, in an attempt to hold both of them and the picture behind
him in one commanding glance under his sun-bonnet, presents a phase of
strabismus seldom attained by human eyes.
"If I only had you down where I come from, Mr. DROOD," cries MONTGOMERY,
tickled into ungovernable wrath by the ferule of the umbrella, I'd tar
and feather you like a Yankee teacher, and then burn you like a
freedman's church."
"Oh!--if you only had me _there_, you'd do so," cries EDWIN DROOD,
springing to his feet as the umbrella tortures his ribs. "_If_, eh?
Pooh, pooh, my young fellow, I perceive that you are a mere Cincinnati
Editor."
The degrading epithet goads PENDRAGON to fury, and, after throwing his
remaining lemon tea about equally upon EDWIN and the sun-bonnet, he
extracts the sugar from the bottom of the glass with his fingers, and
uses the goblet to ward off a last approach of the umbrella.
"EDWINS! MONTGOMERIES!" exclaims Mr. BUMSTEAD, opening the umbrella
between them so suddenly that each is grazed on the nose by a whalebone
rib, "I command you to end this Congressional debate at once.
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