But few people would
guess the arbitrator of whom I made choice. I declared at the end of
the memoir, that if, after having examined it, and made such inquiries
as should seem necessary, the council pronounced M. Vernes not to be
the author of the libel, from that moment I should be fully
persuaded he was not, and would immediately go and throw myself at his
feet, and ask his pardon until I had obtained it. I can say with the
greatest truth that my ardent zeal for equity, the uprightness and
generosity of my heart, and my confidence in the love of justice
innate in every mind, never appeared more fully and perceptible than
in this wise and interesting memoir, in which I took, without
hesitating, my most implacable enemies for arbitrators between a
calumniator and myself. I read to Du Peyrou what I had written: he
advised me to suppress it, and I did so. He wished me to wait for
the proofs Vernes promised, and I am still waiting for them; he
thought it best I should in the meantime be silent, and I held my
tongue, and shall do so the rest of my life, censured as I am for
having brought against Vernes a heavy imputation, false and
unsupported by proof, although I am still fully persuaded, nay, as
convinced as I am of my existence, that he is the author of the libel.
My memoir is in the hands of Du Peyrou. Should it ever be published my
reasons will be found in it, and the heart of Jean-Jacques, with which
my contemporaries would not be acquainted, will I hope be known.
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