I have obtained a promise that he shall not be pursued if he makes
his escape; but if he persists in exposing himself to be taken this
will immediately happen." La Roche conjured me in behalf of Madam de
Luxembourg to rise and go and speak to her. It was two o'clock, and
she had just retired to bed. "She expects you," added he, "and will
not go to sleep without speaking to you." I dressed myself in haste
and ran to her.
She appeared to be agitated; this was for the first time. Her
distress affected me. In this moment of surprise and in the night, I
myself was not free from emotion; but on seeing her I forgot my own
situation, and thought of nothing but the melancholy part she would
have to act should I suffer myself to be arrested; for feeling I had
sufficient courage strictly to adhere to truth, although I might be
certain of its being prejudicial or even destructive to me, I was
convinced I had not presence of mind, address, nor perhaps firmness
enough, not to expose her should I be closely pressed. This determined
me to sacrifice my reputation to her tranquillity, and to do for her
that which nothing could have prevailed upon me to do for myself.
The moment I had come to this resolution, I declared it, wishing not
to diminish the magnitude of the sacrifice by giving her the least
trouble to obtain it. I am sure she could not mistake my motive,
although she said not a word, which proved to me she was sensible of
it. I was so much shocked at her indifference that I, for a moment,
thought of retracting; but the marechal came in, and Madam de
Boufflers arrived from Paris a few moments afterwards.
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