This letter, wherein, on account of my not being able clearly to state
my reasons, I was often obliged to wander from the text, would have
rendered me culpable in the eyes of the public, but it was a model
of reservedness and discretion for the people who, like Grimm, were
fully acquainted with the things I forbore to mention, and which
justified my conduct. I did not even hesitate to raise another
prejudice against myself in attributing the advice of Diderot to my
other friends. This I did to insinuate that Madam d'Houdetot had
been in the same opinion as she really was, and in not mentioning
that, upon the reasons I gave her, she thought differently, I could
not better remove the suspicion of her having connived at my
proceedings than by appearing dissatisfied with her behavior.
This letter was concluded by an act of confidence which would have
had an effect upon any other man; for, in desiring Grimm to weigh my
reasons and afterwards to give me his opinion, I informed him that,
let this be what it would, I should act accordingly, and such was my
intention had he even thought I ought to set off; for M. d'Epinay
having appointed himself the conductor of his wife, my going with them
would then have had a different appearance; whereas it was I who, in
the first place, was asked to take upon me that employment, and he was
out of the question until after my refusal.
The answer from Grimm was slow in coming: it was singular enough, on
which account I will here transcribe it.
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