As
I was not acquainted with his arrival, I did not see him until after
my return to the country, first at the Chevrette, and afterwards at
the Hermitage; to which he came with Madam d'Houdetot, and invited
himself to dinner with me. It may be judged whether or not I
received him with pleasure! But I felt one still greater at seeing the
good understanding between my guests. Satisfied with not having
disturbed their happiness, I myself was happy in being a witness to
it, and I can safely assert that, during the whole of my mad
passion, and especially at the moment of which I speak, had it been in
my power to take from him Madam d'Houdetot I would not have done it,
nor should I have so much as been tempted to undertake it. I found her
so amiable in her passion for Saint Lambert, that I could scarcely
imagine she would have been as much so had she loved me instead of
him; and without wishing to disturb their union, all I really
desired of her was to permit herself to be loved. Finally, however
violent my passion may have been for this lady, I found it as
agreeable to be the confidant, as the object of her amours, and I
never for a moment considered her lover as a rival, but always as my
friend. It will be said this was not love: be it so, but it was
something more.
As for Saint Lambert, he behaved like an honest and judicious man:
as I was the only person culpable, so was I the only one who was
punished; this, however, was with the greatest indulgence.
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