But here begins
the noble task I worthily fulfilled of expiating my faults and
secret weaknesses by charging myself with such of the former as I
was incapable of committing, and which I never did commit.
I had not to bear the attack I had expected, and fear was the
greatest evil I received from it. At my approach, Madam d'Epinay threw
her arms about my neck, bursting into tears. This unexpected
reception, and by an old friend, extremely affected me; I also shed
many tears. I said to her a few words which had not much meaning;
she uttered others with still less, and everything ended here.
Supper was served; we sat down to table, where, in expectation of
the explanation I imagined to be deferred until supper was over, I
made a very poor figure; for I am so overpowered by the most
trifling inquietude of mind that I cannot conceal it from persons
the least clear-sighted. My embarrassed appearance must have given her
courage, yet she did not risk anything upon that foundation. There was
no more explanation after than before supper: none took place on the
next day, and our little tete-a-tete conversations consisted of
indifferent things, or some complimentary words on my part, by
which, while I informed her I could not say more relative to my
suspicions, I asserted, with the greatest truth, that, if they were
ill-founded, my whole life should be employed in repairing the
injustice. She did not show the least curiosity to know precisely what
they were, nor for what reason I had formed them, and all our
peacemaking consisted, on her part as well as on mine, in the
embrace at our first meeting.
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