In the midst of this delicious
intoxication, she never forgot herself for a moment, and I solemnly
protest that, if ever, led away by my senses, I have attempted to
render her unfaithful, I was never really desirous of succeeding.
The vehemence itself of my passion restrained it within bounds. The
duty of self-denial had elevated my mind. The luster of every virtue
adorned in my eyes the idol of my heart; to have soiled their divine
image would have been to destroy it. I might have committed the crime;
it has been a hundred times committed in my heart; but to dishonor
my Sophia! Ah! was this ever possible? No! I have told her a hundred
times it was not. Had I had it in my power to satisfy my desires,
had she consented to commit herself to my discretion, I should, except
in a few moments of delirium, have refused to be happy at the price of
her honor. I loved her too well to wish to possess her.
The distance from the Hermitage to Eaubonne is almost a league; in
my frequent excursions to it I have sometimes slept there. One evening
after having supped tete-a-tete we went to walk in the garden by a
fine moonlight. At the bottom of the garden is a considerable copse,
through which we passed on our way to a pretty grove ornamented with a
cascade, of which I had given her the idea, and she had procured it to
be executed accordingly.
Eternal remembrance of innocence and enjoyment! It was in this grove
that, seated by her side upon a seat of turf under an acacia in full
bloom, I found for the emotions of my heart a language worthy of them.
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