It has been seen that I never was a coxcomb, not even in my youth.
The manner of thinking, of which I have spoken, was according to my
turn of mind, it flattered my passion; this was sufficient to induce
me to abandon myself to it without reserve, and to laugh even at the
impertinent scruple I thought I had made from vanity, rather than from
reason. This is a great lesson for virtuous minds, which vice never
attacks openly; it finds means to surprise them by masking itself with
sophisms, and not unfrequently with a virtue.
Guilty without remorse, I soon became so without measure; and I
entreat it may be observed in what manner my passion followed my
nature, at length to plunge me into an abyss. In the first place, it
assumed an air of humility to encourage me; and to render me
intrepid it carried this humility even to mistrust. Madam d'Houdetot
incessantly putting me in mind of my duty, without once for a single
moment flattering my folly, treated me with the greatest mildness, and
remained with me upon the footing of the most tender friendship.
This friendship would, I protest, have satisfied my wishes, had I
thought it sincere; but finding it too strong to be real, I took it
into my head that love, so ill-suited to my age and appearance, had
rendered me contemptible in the eyes of Madam d'Houdetot; that this
young mad creature only wished to divert herself with me and my
superannuated passion; that she had communicated this to
Saint-Lambert; and that the indignation caused by my breach of
friendship, having made her lover enter into her views, they were
agreed to turn my head and then to laugh at me.
Pages:
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645