She knew I was acquainted with their
connection, and as she could speak to me without restraint, it was
natural she should find my conversation agreeable. She came; I saw
her; I was intoxicated with love without an object; this
intoxication fascinated my eyes; the object fixed itself upon her. I
saw my Julia in Madam d'Houdetot, and I soon saw nothing but Madam
d'Houdetot, but with all the perfections with which I had just adorned
the idol of my heart. To complete my delirium she spoke to me of Saint
Lambert with a fondness of a passionate lover. Contagious force of
love! while listening to her, and finding myself near her, I was
seized with a delicious trembling which I had never before experienced
when near to any person whatsoever. She spoke, and I felt myself
affected; I thought I was nothing more than interested by her
sentiments, when I perceived I possessed those which were similar; I
drank freely of the poisoned cup, of which I yet tasted nothing more
than the sweetness. Finally, imperceptibly to us both, she inspired me
for herself with all she expressed for her lover. Alas! it was very
late in life, and cruel was it to consume with a passion not less
violent than unfortunate for a woman whose heart was already in the
possession of another.
Notwithstanding the extraordinary emotions I had felt when near to
her, I did not at first perceive what had happened to me; it was not
until after her departure that, wishing to think of Julia, I was
struck with surprise at being unable to think of anything but Madam
d'Houdetot.
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