But in the offices of all the
ministers of state the Abbe de Saint Pierre had ever been considered
as a kind of preacher rather than a real politician, and he was
suffered to say what he pleased, because it appeared that nobody
listened to him. Had I procured him readers the case would have been
different. He was a Frenchman, and I was not one; and by repeating his
censures, although in his own name. I exposed myself to be asked,
rather rudely, but without injustice, what it was with which I
meddled. Happily before I proceeded any further, I perceived the
hold I was about to give the government against me, and I
immediately withdrew. I knew that, living alone in the midst of men
more powerful than myself, I never could by any means whatever be
sheltered from the injury they chose to do me. There was but one thing
which depended upon my own efforts: this was, to observe such a line
of conduct that whenever they chose to make me feel the weight of
authority they could not do it without being unjust. The maxim which
induced me to decline proceeding with the works of the Abbe de Saint
Pierre, has frequently made me give up projects I had much more at
heart. People who are always ready to construe adversity into a crime,
would be much surprised were they to know the pains I have taken, that
during my misfortunes it might never with truth be said of me, Thou
hast well deserved them.
After having given up the manuscript, I remained some time without
determining upon the work which should succeed it, and this interval
of inactivity was destructive, by permitting me to turn my reflections
on myself, for want of another object to engage my attention.
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