On which account this subject, of all,
those of which I have just spoken, is the only one I carried to its
utmost extent. The end I proposed to myself in treating of it
should, I think, have procured the author a better fate. But I will
not here anticipate this melancholy subject. I shall have too much
reason to speak of it in the course of my work.
These different objects offered me subjects of meditation for my
walks; for, as I believe I have already observed, I am unable to
reflect when I am not walking: the moment I stop, I think no more, and
as soon as I am again in motion my head resumes its workings. I had,
however, provided myself with a work for the closet upon rainy days.
This was my dictionary of music, which my scattered, mutilated, and
unshapen materials made it necessary to rewrite almost entirely. I had
with me some books necessary to this purpose; I had spent two months
in making extracts from others, which I had borrowed from the king's
library, whence I was permitted to take several to the Hermitage. I
was thus provided with materials for composing in my apartment when
the weather did not permit me to go out, and my copying fatigued me.
This arrangement was so convenient that it made it turn to advantage
as well at the Hermitage as at Montmorency, and afterwards even at
Motiers, where I completed the work whilst I was engaged in others,
and constantly found a change of occupation to be a real relaxation.
During a considerable time I exactly followed the distribution I had
prescribed myself, and found it very agreeable; but as soon as the
fine weather brought Madam d'Epinay more frequently to Epinay, or to
the Chevrette, I found that attentions, in the first instance
natural to me, but which I had not considered in my scheme,
considerably deranged my projects.
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