Theresa,
full of indignation, once threw his scandalous book out of the
carriage; and I learned that on the. first evening of our journey, a
violent headache having obliged me to retire to bed before supper,
he had employed the whole time of this tete-a-tete in actions more
worthy of a satyr than a man of worth and honor, to whom I thought I
had intrusted my companion and myself. What astonishment and grief
of heart for me! I, who until then had believed friendship to be
inseparable from every amiable and noble sentiment which constitutes
all its charm, for the first time in my life found myself under the
necessity of connecting it with disdain, and of withdrawing my
confidence from a man for whom I had an affection, and by whom I
imagined myself beloved! The wretch concealed from me his turpitude;
and that I might not expose Theresa, I was obliged to conceal from him
my contempt, and secretly to harbor in my heart such sentiments as
were foreign to its nature. Sweet and sacred illusion of friendship!
Gauffecourt first took the veil from before my eyes. What cruel
hands have since that time prevented it from again being drawn over
them!
At Lyons I quitted Gauffecourt to take the road to Savoy, being
unable to be so near to mamma without seeing her. I saw her- Good God,
in what a situation! How contemptible! What remained to her of
primitive virtue? Was it the same Madam de Warrens, formerly so gay
and lively, to whom the vicar of Pontverre had given me
recommendations? How my heart was wounded! The only resource I saw for
her was to quit the country.
Pages:
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566