The mother strongly endeavored to remove this suspicion, but so many
circumstances concurred to prove it to be well founded, that,
notwithstanding all she could say, our opinions remained still the
same: I dared not make a strict search for fear of finding more than I
wished to do. The brother never returned to the place where I lived,
and, at length, was no more heard of by any of us. I was much
grieved Theresa and myself should be connected with such a family, and
I exhorted her more than ever to shake off so dangerous a yoke. This
adventure cured me of my inclination for fine linen, and since that
time all I have had has been very common, and more suitable to the
rest of my dress.
Having thus completed the change of that which related to my person,
all my cares tended to render it solid and lasting, by striving to
root out from my heart everything susceptible of receiving an
impression from the judgment of men, or which, from the fear of blame,
might turn me aside from anything good and reasonable in itself. In
consequence of the success of my work, my resolution made some noise
in the world also, and procured me employment; so that I began my
new profession with great appearance of success. However, several
causes prevented me from succeeding in it to the same degree I
should under any other circumstances have done. In the first place
my ill state of health. The attack I had just had, brought on
consequences which prevented my ever being so well as I was before;
and I am of opinion, the physicians, to whose care I intrusted myself,
did me as much harm as my illness.
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