I forever abandoned all projects of fortune and advancement,
resolved to pass in independence and poverty the little time I had
to exist. I made every effort of which my mind was capable to break
the fetters of prejudice, and courageously to do everything that was
right without giving myself the least concern about the judgment of
others. The obstacles I had to combat, and the efforts I made to
triumph over them, are inconceivable. I succeeded as much as it was
possible I should, and to a greater degree than I myself had hoped
for. Had I at the same time shaken off the yoke of friendship as
well as that of prejudice, my design would have been accomplished,
perhaps the greatest, at least the most useful one to virtue, that
mortal ever conceived; but whilst I despised the foolish judgments
of the vulgar tribe called great and wise, I suffered myself to be
influenced and led by persons who called themselves my friends. These,
hurt at seeing me walk alone in a new path, while I seemed to take
measures for my happiness, used all their endeavors to render me
ridiculous, and that they might afterwards defame me, first strove
to make me contemptible. It was less my literary fame than my personal
reformation, of which I here state the period, that drew upon me their
jealousy; they perhaps might have pardoned me for having distinguished
myself in the art of writing; but they could never forgive my
setting them, by my conduct, an example, which, in their eyes,
seemed to reflect on themselves.
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