I
recollected that after the defeat of Nicias at Syracuse the captive
Athenians obtained a livelihood by reciting the poems of Homer. The
use I made of this erudition to ward off misery was to exercise my
happy memory by learning all the poets by rote.
I had another expedient, not less solid, in the game of chess, to
which I regularly dedicated, at Maugis's, the evenings on which I
did not go to the theater. I became acquainted with M. de Legal, M.
Husson, Philidor, and all the great chess players of the day,
without making the least improvement in the game. However, I had no
doubt but, in the end, I should become superior to them all, and this,
in my own opinion, was a sufficient resource. The same manner of
reasoning served me in every folly to which I felt myself inclined.
I said to myself: whoever excels in anything is sure to acquire a
distinguished reception in society. Let us therefore excel, no
matter in what, I shall certainly be sought after; opportunities
will present themselves, and my own merit will do the rest. This
childishness was not the sophism of my reason; it was that of my
indolence. Dismayed at the great and rapid efforts which would have
been necessary to call forth my endeavors, I strove to flatter my
idleness, and by arguments suitable to the purpose, veiled from my own
eyes the shame of such a state.
I thus calmly waited for the moment when I was to be without
money; and had not Father Castel, whom I sometimes went to see in my
way to the coffee-house, roused me from my lethargy, I believe I
should have seen myself reduced to my last farthing without the
least emotion.
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