"
I preserved this resolution with a constancy worthy, I may say, of
the sentiment that gave it birth. From this moment I saw this
beloved woman but with the eyes of a real son. It should be remarked
here, that this resolve did not meet her private approbation, as I too
well perceived; yet she never employed the least art to make me
renounce it either by insinuating proposals, caresses, or any of those
means which women so well know how to employ without exposing
themselves to violent censure, and which seldom fail to succeed.
Reduced to seek a fate independent of hers, and not able to devise
one, I passed to the other extreme, placing my happiness so absolutely
in her, that I became almost regardless of myself. The ardent desire
to see her happy, at any rate, absorbed all my affections; it was in
vain she endeavored to separate her felicity from mine, I felt I had a
part in it, spite of every impediment.
Thus those virtues whose seeds in my heart begun to spring up with
my misfortunes: they had been cultivated by study, and only waited the
fermentation of adversity to become prolific. The first-fruit of
this disinterested disposition was to put from my heart every
sentiment of hatred and envy against him who had supplanted me. I even
sincerely wished to attach myself to this young man; to form and
educate him; to make him sensible of his happiness, and, if
possible, render him worthy of it; in a word, to do for him what
Anet had formerly done for me.
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