I was, therefore, dying for love without an object, and this
state, is of all others, the most dangerous. I was tormented at the
bad state of poor Madam de Warrens' circumstances, and the
imprudence of her conduct, which could not fail to bring to her
total ruin.
Music was a passion less turbulent, but not less consuming, from the
ardor with which I attached myself to it, by the obstinate study of
the obscure books of Rameau; by an invincible resolution to charge
my memory with rules it could not contain; by continual application,
and by long and immense compilations which I frequently passed whole
nights in copying: but why dwell on these particularly, while every
folly that took possession of my wandering brain, the most transient
ideas of a single day, a journey, a concert, a supper, a walk, a novel
to read, a play to see, things in the world the least premeditated
in my pleasures or occupation became for me the most violent passions,
which by their ridiculous impetuosity conveyed the most serious
torments; even the imaginary misfortunes of, Cleveland, read with
avidity and frequent interruption, have, I am persuaded, disordered me
more than my own.
There was a Genevese, named Bagueret, who had been employed under
Peter the Great, of the court of Russia, one of the most worthless,
senseless fellows I ever met with, full of projects as foolish as
himself, which were to rain down millions on those who took part in
them. This man, having come to Chambery on account of some suit
depending before the senate, immediately got acquainted with Madam
de Warrens, and with great reason on his side, since for those
imaginary treasures that cost him nothing, and which he bestowed
with the utmost prodigality, he gained, in exchange, the unfortunate
crown pieces one by one out of her pocket.
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