During his
illness he had no exhortations but mine, bestowed with such transports
of grief and zeal that, had he been in a state to understand them,
they must have been some consolation to him. Thus I lost the firmest
friend I ever had; a man estimable and extraordinary; in whom Nature
supplied the defects of education, and who (though in a state of
servitude) possessed all the virtues necessary to form a great man,
which, perhaps, he would have shown himself, and been acknowledged,
had he lived to fill the situation he seemed so perfectly adapted to.
The next day I spoke of him to Madam de Warrens with the most
sincere and lively affection; when, suddenly, in the midst of our
conversation, the vile, ungrateful thought occurred, that I should
inherit his wardrobe, and particularly a handsome black coat, which
I thought very becoming. As I thought this, I consequently uttered it;
for when with her, to think and to speak was the same thing. Nothing
could have made her feel more forcibly the loss she had sustained,
than this unworthy and odious observation; disinterestedness and
greatness of soul being qualities which poor Anet had eminently
possessed. The generous Madam de Warrens turned from me, and
(without any reply) burst into tears. Dear and precious tears! your
reprehension was fully felt; ye ran into my very heart, washing from
thence even the smallest traces of such despicable and unworthy
sentiments, never to return.
This loss caused Madam de Warrens as much inconvenience as sorrow,
since from this moment her affairs were still more deranged.
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