I hardly knew what I wished with those charming girls.
I do not say, that had the arrangement been in my power, I should have
divided my heart between them; I certainly felt some degree of
preference: though I should have been happy to have had Mademoiselle
better as a confidante; be that as it may, I felt on leaving them as
though I could not live without either. Who would have thought that
I should never see them more; and that here our ephemeral amours
must end?
Those who read this will not fail to laugh at my gallantries, and
remark, that after very promising preliminaries, my most forward
adventures concluded by a kiss of the hand: yet be not mistaken,
reader, in your estimate of my enjoyments; I have, perhaps, tasted
more real pleasure in my amours, which concluded by a kiss of the
hand, than you will ever have in yours, which, at least, begin there.
Venture, who had gone to bed late the night before, came in soon
after me. I did not now see him with my usual satisfaction, and took
care not to inform him how I had passed the day. The ladies had spoken
of him slightingly, and appeared discontented at finding me in such
bad hands; this hurt him in my esteem; besides, whatever diverted my
ideas from them was at this time disagreeable. However, he soon
brought me back to him and myself, by speaking of the situation of
my affairs, which was too critical to last; for, though I spent very
little, my slender finances were almost exhausted. I was without
resource; no news of Madam de Warrens; not knowing what would become
of me, and feeling a cruel pang at heart to see the friend of
Mademoiselle Galley reduced to beggary.
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