At this period of my life, without being romantic, I might
reasonably have indulged the hope of preferment. The abbe,
thoroughly pleased with me, expressed his satisfaction to every one,
while his father had such a singular affection for me, that I was
assured by the Count de Favria, that he had spoken of me to the
king; even Madam de Breil had laid aside her disdainful looks; in
short I was a general favorite, which gave great jealousy to the other
servants, who, seeing me honored by the instructions of their master's
son, were persuaded I should not remain their equal.
As far as I could judge by some words dropped at random, and which I
reflected on afterwards, it appeared to me, that the House of Solar,
wishing to run the career of embassies, and hoping perhaps in time
to arrive at the ministry, wished to provide themselves with a
person of merit and talents, who depending entirely on them, might
obtain their confidence, and be of essential service. This project
of the Count de Gauvon was judicious, magnanimous, and truly worthy of
a powerful nobleman, equally provident and generous; but besides my
not seeing, at that time, its full extent, it was far too rational for
my brain, and required too much confinement. My ridiculous ambition
sought for fortune in the midst of brilliant adventures, and not
finding one woman in all this scheme, it appeared tedious, painful,
and melancholy; though I should rather have thought it more
honorable on this account, as the species of merit generally
patronized by women is certainly less worthy than that which I was
supposed to possess.
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