This trial of my discretion, which I did not then
perceive, was certainly very dangerous, and not very humane; for in
this state of idleness I might have contracted vices which I should
not otherwise have given in to. Fortunately, it did not produce that
effect; my memory retained the lessons of M. Gaime, they had made an
impression on my heart, and I sometimes escaped from the house of my
patron to obtain a repetition of them. I believe those who saw me
going out, apparently by stealth, had no conception of my business.
Nothing could be more prudent than the advice he gave me respecting my
conduct. My beginning was admirable; so much attention, assiduity, and
zeal, had charmed every one. The Abbe Gaime advised me to moderate
this first ardor, lest I should relax, and that relaxation should be
considered as neglect. "Your setting out," said he, "is the rule of
what will be expected of you; endeavor gradually to increase your
attentions, but be cautious how you diminish them."
As they paid but little attention to my trifling talents, and
supposed I possessed no more than nature had given me, there was no
appearance (notwithstanding the promises of Count de Gauvon) of my
meeting with any particular consideration. Some objects of more
consequence had intervened. The Marquis de Breil, son of the Count
de Gauvon, was then ambassador at Vienna; some circumstances had
occurred at that court which for some weeks kept the family in
continual agitation, and left them no time to think of me.
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