La Tribu, a well-known librarian, furnished me with all
kinds: good or bad, I perused them with avidity, and without
discrimination.
It will be said, "at length, then, money became necessary"- true;
but this happened at a time when a taste for study had deprived me
both of resolution and activity: totally occupied by this new
inclination, I only wished to read, I robbed no longer. This is
another of my peculiarities; a mere nothing frequently calls me off
from what I appear the most attached to; I give in to the new idea; it
becomes a passion, and immediately every former desire is forgotten.
Reading was my new hobby; my heart beat with impatience to run
over the new book I carried in my pocket; the first moment I was
alone, I seized the opportunity to draw it out, and thought no
longer of rummaging my master's closet. I was even ashamed to think
I had been guilty of such meanness; and had my amusements been more
expensive, I no longer felt an inclination to continue it. La Tribu
gave me credit, and when once I had the book in my possession, I
thought no more of the trifle I was to pay for it; as money came it
naturally passed to this woman; and when she chanced to be pressing,
nothing was so conveniently at hand as my own effects; to steal in
advance required foresight, and robbing to pay was no temptation.
The frequent blows I received from my master, with my private and
ill-chosen studies, rendered me reserved, unsociable, and almost
deranged my reason.
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