I would willingly excuse myself from a further
explanation, did not the lesson this example conveys (which points out
an evil as frequent as it is pernicious) forbid my silence.
As Miss Lambercier felt a mother's affection, she sometimes
exerted a mother's authority, even to inflicting on us, when we
deserved it, the punishment of infants. She had often threatened it,
and this threat of a treatment entirely new, appeared to me
extremely dreadful; but I found the reality much less terrible than
the idea, and what is still more unaccountable, this punishment
increased my affection for the person who had inflicted it. All this
affection, aided by my natural mildness, was scarcely sufficient to
prevent my seeking, by fresh offenses, a return of the same
chastisement; for a degree of sensuality had mingled with the smart
and shame, which left more desire than fear of a repetition. I was
well convinced the same discipline from her brother would have
produced a quite contradictory effect; but from a man of his
disposition this was not probable, and if I abstained from meriting
correction, it was merely from a fear of offending Miss Lambercier,
for benevolence, aided by the passions, has ever maintained an
empire over me which has given law to my heart.
This event, which, though desirable, I had not endeavored to
accelerate, arrived without my fault; I should say, without my
seeking; and I profited by it with a safe conscience; but this second,
was also the last time, for Miss Lambercier, who doubtless had some
reason to imagine this chastisement did not produce the desired
effect, declared it was too fatiguing, and that she renounced it for
the future.
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