"'Swing ahead, in Heaven's name,' you want to say, 'and much good may it
do you.' I don't know whether you are laughing at my scruples or at what
possibly strikes you as my depravity. I doubt," he went on gravely,
"whether I have an inclination toward wrong-doing; if I have, I am sure I
shall not prosper in it. I honestly believe I may safely take out a
license to amuse myself. But it isn't that I think of, any more than I
dream of, playing with suffering. Pleasure and pain are empty words to
me; what I long for is knowledge--some other knowledge than comes to us
in formal, colourless, impersonal precept. You would understand all this
better if you could breathe for an hour the musty in-door atmosphere in
which I have always lived. To break a window and let in light and air--I
feel as if at last I must _act_!"
"Act, by all means, now and always, when you have a chance," I answered.
"But don't take things too hard, now or ever. Your long confinement
makes you think the world better worth knowing than you are likely to
find it. A man with as good a head and heart as yours has a very ample
world within himself, and I am no believer in art for art, nor in what's
called 'life' for life's sake. Nevertheless, take your plunge, and come
and tell me whether you have found the pearl of wisdom.
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