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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Misalliance"

Johnny stops beside Hypatia._
PERCIVAL. Certainly.
TARLETON. _[uneasily]_ Take my advice, and cut it short. Get rid of
him.
MRS TARLETON. Hypatia ought to have her character cleared.
TARLETON. You let well alone, Chickabiddy. Most of our characters
will bear a little careful dusting; but they wont bear scouring.
Patsy is jolly well out of it. What does it matter, anyhow?
PERCIVAL. Mr Tarleton: we have already said either too much or not
enough. Lord Summerhays: will you be kind enough to witness the
declaration this man has just signed?
GUNNER. I havnt yet. Am I to sign now?
PERCIVAL. Of course. _[Gunner, who is now incapable of doing
anything on his own initiative, signs]._ Now stand up and read your
declaration to this gentleman. _[Gunner makes a vague movement and
looks stupidly round. Percival adds peremptorily]_ Now, please.
GUNNER _[rising apprehensively and reading in a hardly audible voice,
like a very sick man]_ I, John Brown, of 4 Chesterfield Parade,
Kentish Town, do hereby voluntarily confess that on the 31st May 1909
I trespassed on the land of John Tarleton at Hindhead, and effected an
unlawful entry into his house, where I secreted myself in a portable
Turkish bath, with a pistol, with which I threatened to take the life
of the said John Tarleton, and was prevented from doing so only by the
timely arrival of the celebrated Miss Lena Sh-Sh-sheepanossika.


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