PERCIVAL. Where do you live?
GUNNER. 4 Chesterfield Parade, Kentish Town, N.W.
PERCIVAL. _[dictating]_ I, John Brown, of 4 Chesterfield Parade,
Kentish Town, do hereby voluntarily confess that on the 31st May 1909
I-- _[To Tarleton]_ What did he do exactly?
TARLETON. _[dictating]_ --I trespassed on the land of John Tarleton
at Hindhead, and effected an unlawful entry into his house, where I
secreted myself in a portable Turkish bath--
BENTLEY. Go slow, old man. Just a moment. "Turkish bath"--yes?
TARLETON. _[continuing]_ --with a pistol, with which I threatened to
take the life of the said John Tarleton--
MRS TARLETON. Oh, John! You might have been killed.
TARLETON. --and was prevented from doing so only by the timely
arrival of the celebrated Miss Lina Szczepanowska.
MRS TARLETON. Is she celebrated? _[Apologetically]_ I never
dreamt--
BENTLEY. Look here: I'm awfully sorry; but I cant spell
Szczepanowska.
PERCIVAL. I think it's S, z, c, z-- _[Lina gives him her
visiting-card]._ Thank you. _[He throws it on Bentley's blotter]._
BENTLEY. Thanks awfully. _[He writes the name]._
TARLETON. _[to Percival]_ Now it's your turn.
PERCIVAL. _[dictating]_ I further confess that I was guilty of
uttering an abominable calumny concerning Miss Hypatia Tarleton, for
which there was not a shred of foundation.
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