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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Misalliance"

Lord Summerhays: a
man known wherever the British flag waves. His son Bentley, engaged
to Hypatia. Mr Joseph Percival, the promising son of three highly
intellectual fathers.
HYPATIA. _[startled]_ Bentley's friend? _[Bentley nods]._
TARLETON. _[continuing, to the passenger]_ May I now ask to be
allowed the pleasure of knowing your name?
THE PASSENGER. My name is Lina Szczepanowska _[pronouncing it
Sh-Chepanovska]._
PERCIVAL. Sh-- I beg your pardon?
LINA. Szczepanowska.
PERCIVAL. _[dubiously]_ Thank you.
TARLETON. _[very politely]_ Would you mind saying it again?
LINA. Say fish.
TARLETON. Fish.
LINA. Say church.
TARLETON. Church.
LINA. Say fish church.
TARLETON. _[remonstrating]_ But it's not good sense.
LINA. _[inexorable]_ Say fish church.
TARLETON. Fish church.
LINA. Again.
TARLETON. No, but--_[resigning himself]_ fish church.
LINA. Now say Szczepanowska.
TARLETON. Szczepanowska. Got it, by Gad. _[A sibilant whispering
becomes audible: they are all saying Sh-ch to themselves]._
Szczepanowska! Not an English name, is it?
LINA. Polish. I'm a Pole.
TARLETON. Ah yes. Interesting nation. Lucky people to get the
government of their country taken off their hands. Nothing to do but
cultivate themselves.


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