The friends of the contradictory couple often deplore their
frequent disputes, though they rather make light of them at the
same time: observing, that there is no doubt they are very much
attached to each other, and that they never quarrel except about
trifles. But neither the friends of the contradictory couple, nor
the contradictory couple themselves, reflect, that as the most
stupendous objects in nature are but vast collections of minute
particles, so the slightest and least considered trifles make up
the sum of human happiness or misery.
THE COUPLE WHO DOTE UPON THEIR CHILDREN
The couple who dote upon their children have usually a great many
of them: six or eight at least. The children are either the
healthiest in all the world, or the most unfortunate in existence.
In either case, they are equally the theme of their doting parents,
and equally a source of mental anguish and irritation to their
doting parents' friends.
The couple who dote upon their children recognise no dates but
those connected with their births, accidents, illnesses, or
remarkable deeds. They keep a mental almanack with a vast number
of Innocents'-days, all in red letters. They recollect the last
coronation, because on that day little Tom fell down the kitchen
stairs; the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot, because it was on
the fifth of November that Ned asked whether wooden legs were made
in heaven and cocked hats grew in gardens.
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