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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, September 29th, 1920"

We can only say it isn't coming to us.
* * *
In Petrograd the fare for half-an-hour's cab ride is equal to two hundred
pounds in English money at the old rate of exchange. Fortunately in London
one could spend the best part of a day in a taxi-cab for that amount.
* * *
"Before washing a flannel suit," says a home journal, "shake it and beat it
severely with a stick." Before doing this, however, it would be just as
well to make sure that the whole of the husband has been removed.
* * *
A lion-tamer advertises in a contemporary for a situation. It is reported
that Mr. SMILLIE contemplates engaging him for Sir ROBERT HORNE.
* * *
Whatever else happens, somebody says, the public must hang together. But
what does he think we do in a Tube?
* * *
"Primroses have been gathered at Welwyn," says _The Evening News_. As even
this seems to have failed we think it is time to drop these attempts to
draw the POET LAUREATE.
* * *
Glasgow licensees are being accused of giving short whisky measure. It is
even said that in some extreme cases they paint the whisky on the glass
with a camel-hair brush.
* * *
Mice, says Mrs. GREIVE, of Whins, hate the smell of mint. So do lambs.
* * *
"Coal strike or no coal strike," says _The Daily Mail_, "the Commercial
Motor Exhibition at Olympia will not be postponed.


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