Would I have accepted plain Malcolm Roy? I sent
away a better than him, Laura.
"'These things have been brooding in my mind for some months past. I must
have been but an ill companion for him, and indeed he bore with my
waywardness much more kindly than I ever thought possible; and when four
days since we came to this sad house, where he was to have joined us, and
I found only dismay and wretchedness, and these poor children deprived of
a mother, whom I pity, God help her, for she has been made so miserable--
and is now and must be to the end of her days; as I lay awake, thinking
of my own future life, and that I was going to marry, as poor Clara had
married, but for an establishment and a position in life; I, my own
mistress, and not obedient by nature, or a slave to others as that poor
creature was--I thought to myself, why shall I do this? Now Clara has
left us, and is, as it were, dead to us who made her so unhappy, let me
be the mother to her orphans. I love the little girl, and she has always
loved me, and came crying to me that day when we arrived, and put her
dear little arms round my neck, and said, 'You won't go away, will you,
Aunt Ethel?' in her sweet voice.
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