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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, January 29, 1919"

But I don't see no reason
as a man mightn't 'ope to acquire it, 'im practising constant and
careful--same as a pusson can learn a bullfinch to pipe ''Ome, sweet
'Ome.' That haitch is a funny letter, but it's a letter as I shall
practise. Still, haitches or no haitches," he concluded, with a
profound sigh, "I wish as I knowed 'ow I could set about coming it
over that 'ere one-legged widder lidy at Putney what 'ave the two
great hauk's eggs."
Out of the dusty twilight in the far end of the shop Mrs. Punt's eye
gleamed balefully.
* * * * *
BLIGHTY IMPRESSIONS.
THE BARBER.
I went into a tobacco-shop, tendered a pound note and asked for a
packet of cigarettes and a box of matches. With much regret and a
smiling face, she informed me she had the goods but no change.
What a dilemma! A shop with cigarettes and matches, but I couldn't
spare a pound note for them.
An inspiration!--I would go into the hairdressing establishment behind
the shop, have a shave--which I really didn't need--obtain change and
make my purchase. Besides, with so many barbers closed owing to the
strike, it was an opportunity.


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