" "Go ahead and say
it" was in the mosquito's thoughts but it was Jatupon who articulated
this oblique command, "Go ahead and say it!" to twist the direction of
the conversation .
"I don't understand," said the mosquito.
"Aren't you wanting to give me your lecture that I have to
survive?"
"I wasn't going to say anything but you are meant for more than
this dizzying work and the instinct to survive is thrust on all living
things in all actions. You can't but help obey it to some degree."
"I can't do it any longer."
"You might have a nervous breakdown if you were to continue.
Kazem was your link. It's gone now."
"I'd rather die than go back to it now. Die in the streets if I
have to."
"I think you are zipping up your pants again and finding them too
tight. You are shedding your boyhood."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes," said the mosquito pensively. "Unfortunately, it was your
best trait."
The mosquito dissipated with the smoke of Jatupon's cigarette that
he rested and twirled in his fingertips. Smoking was his new habit
that he pursued in the hope of having a more insouciant image, which
with practice, he could learn to believe in.
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